I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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