I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
