He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
