But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
