Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
