i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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