so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Someone shattered a urinal.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
