She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize