D3 body, D1 cock
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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