i permit you to call me
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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