do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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