She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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