NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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