areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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