TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
