I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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