what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
