that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I think my moral compass just broke
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