oh god the rape fog is back!
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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