Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
