ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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