You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
