Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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