I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
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