hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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