Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
