Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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