I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
