My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
