I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
