Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
