I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
