you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
