no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
