Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
