He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
