I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
