You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
