You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
