yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
