Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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