i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
