I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
