Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
