i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
