i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
