You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
