i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
