So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
