if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
